EXCUSES FOR ‘LACK OF LOVE’—Intimate Relationships—a Mircrcosm into the Macrocosm

EXCUSES FOR ‘LACK OF LOVE’—Intimate Relationships—a Mircrcosm into the Macrocosm

Posted by on Mar 6, 2017 in Seeds of Wisdom | 0 comments

As Human-Divine Beings, We must not allow any act of fear to be an excuse to separate from Love, block the flow of Love or join another in an action of ‘Lack of Love.’ ‘Lack of Love’ is fear; of which only Love can heal and overcome.



The definition of excuse is an “attempt to lessen the blame attaching to a fault or offense; (it) seek(s) to defend or justify.


Causing harm to another is justifiable in our culture, using the excuse that the ‘other’ caused harm first. We blame, punish, even validate killing another, excusing ourselves from extending harm, unconsciously creating a ‘cycle of fear.’


You’ve heard it said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth will leave the whole world blind and toothless….


Matthew Henry writes an interesting commentary on the verse in the Bible, Matthew 5:38, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, he says; “Suffer any injury that can be borne, for the sake of peace, committing your concerns to the Lord’s keeping. And the sum of all is, that Christians (Christ-like, of the Light) must avoid disputing and striving. If any say, flesh and blood cannot pass by such an affront, let them remember, that flesh and blood shall not inherit the kingdom of God; and those who act upon right principles will have most peace and comfort.”


A Course in Miracles (ACIM) states defense is an attack; any fearful thoughts, hurtful word, or furrowed brow is an attack. Lesson 153: In my defenselessness my safety lies.




Recently I woke with tightness in my chest, a deep looming sadness. My Life-Partner and I have been in ‘dissonance’ for months now; the longest lasting unresolved conflict we’ve endured.


A few days earlier, a gifted healer & friend, anchored in Universal Love, guided me through a healing visualization meditation that encouraged me to ‘following the pain and contraction of my heart.’ As she guided me, she asked me to describe in words, if I could, the ‘energy pattern’ to communicate the feeling. It was profoundly insightful and liberating.


Shortly after waking with this terrible feeling of ‘contraction’ and emotional pain in my heart center, I was inspired to follow the pain. As I followed the pain, it became like a chain, linking every experience of this pain to my Partner. The words that made manifest in accordance with this ‘energy pattern’ were “unkindness and unloving.” Each link connected to a time when my Partner was ‘unkind & unloving’ to others and me. I was in awe of the patterning of the ‘contractions.’ The pain did not continue beyond the first time I had felt this contraction with my Partner; it was shortly after we had become intimate…seated on a park bench…. A chain, heavily weighted now, hung around my neck, choking me and restricting my heart. Though my story is only relevant to me, we each have a story relevant only to us; what is important to each of us is releasing the chain that links pain, and contracts our heart.


Chapter 21 Section II: The Responsibility for Sight, paragraphs 2 & 3 in ACIM I have read many times; verses 2:3-5 are instilled in my consciousness like a mantra.


  1. This is the only thing that you need do for vision, happiness, release from pain and the complete escape from sin (lack of love), all to be given you. Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies.
  • (3) I am responsible for what I see.
  • (4) I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
  • (5) And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.

Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.

  1. It is impossible the Son of God be merely driven by events outside of him. It is impossible that happenings that come to him were not his choice. His power of decision is the determiner of every situation in which he seems to find himself by chance or accident. No accident nor chance is possible within the universe as God created it, outside of which is nothing. Suffer, and you decided sin (lack of love) was your goal. Be happy, and you gave the power of decision to Him (Christ Jesus, The Holy Spirit) Who must decide for God for you. This is the little gift you offer to the Holy Spirit, and even this He gives to you to give yourself. For by this gift is given you the power to release you savior (your Brother & Sister in God). that he may give salvation unto you.”


Each time I read ACIM I am ‘expanded,’ as if there are layers and layers of ‘realization’ & ‘enlightenment’ within each string of words. Though I’ve had the book in my possession for nearly 20 years, it’s in the last 6 years I’ve only became a devoted student, it is part of my daily spiritual practice.


Trained, even skilled, at looking ‘at myself,’ though not always easy, I’m aware of how essential it is to look at ‘your self’ for healing and returning to Love, our true Self. Looking at another with blame and reasons for excuses is far too easy, and a trap for ego that can keep us bound to looking outside of our self for healing & Love.


Someone dear to me asked, “Why do you suppose your Partner’s actions ‘bother’ you? They may not bother anyone else.” Encouraging me to look at my own reasons for choosing to feel hurt. Though feeling hurt is a choice and often expectations we have of our self, this seemed different…like an ancient memory of how Divine Beings treat each other and themselves…Divine Beings are loving-kind, always, in all ways. It matters not what another does or does not do, we must not loose our Peace or block the Love to healing our self and others.


Spiritual Scripture says that all we need is just ‘a little willingness’ for The Christ, The Holy Spirit, to be our eyes and hears, and it will be so.


In unification with reciting “the mantra,”following the pain,’ and ‘looking at myself,’ I’d become clearer of the reason(s) or ‘excuses’ for the restricting pain in my heart, and was released from my suffering.


My heart was contracting because I was seeing the ‘stimulus’ incorrectly. It’s either Love or a ‘cry for Love.’ Even if the ‘Lack of Love’ roars like a lion, it is simply a loud cry for Love.


I asked to ‘See,’ to have the Vision of Christ. I’d asked the Holy Spirit to be my eyes and ears. I have chosen The Purpose of God, the Goal of Love, and to achieve only the Will of God….


I see I have been mistaken. I did not hear the ‘unkind-ness’ as a cry for love, and I reciprocated with hurt, another form of ‘lack of Love,’ blocking Love. With the realization that I have asked for everything that happens to me, it is incumbent upon me to SEE this and everything that comes to me as opportunities for growth, portals Home. Nothing is being done to me; I have called this to myself, to see and know my Self. With my ‘little willingness,’ I am able to see, and I vow to Love, knowing: Love heals all things…


Love is constant.

Love never fails.

Love dwells within;

IT does not change because of something outside of IT.

Love is Love

Love Loves, always.


Placing all things in Divine Right Order.


However minor or egregious the form of fear, we both acted and reacted with a form of ‘lack of Love,’ many call it ‘human,’ but that is an excuse too. We must not join with another’s ego or insanity in action or defense. When we loose our ‘Center’ and our Peace, may we give our self permission to remove our self from the stimulus‘ and take some ‘time-out,’ until we have returned to our ‘Center,’ grounded in our Peace, and will act or react from Love. And, may we not ‘beat our self up’ or be too hard on our self when we have had a ‘realization.’ May we say a big thank you! Once we have had a realization, we realize what we did not know and only then are able to correct the error. We can’t know what we can’t know until we know it! With this knowing, we’ll have many opportunities to correct our errors until we sin, which is a lack of Love, no more.


There are only two choices in every action and reaction, says The Course; the two choices are Love or Fear. Choosing Love as our Guide & Instrument, we can trust our relationships and our self are being made holy, and they are being placed in Divine right order.


The brilliant ‘gift of insight’ from this experience is: there is no ‘excuse’ to cause harm, to do harm unto another, through justification or reasoning, with a furrowed brow, angry scorn or life threatening, there is no excuse. If we want to heal & be healed, if we want to experience the Peace & Joy that passeth understanding all the Great Mystics speak about, we must have our vision and hearing corrected, allowing our Inner Guide to be our eyes and ears, to see and hear every act of fear as a cry for Love and choose in every action or reaction a form of Love. May we walk each other Home, together, hand in hand, ‘Peace as the Path; Love as the Way:’ from the microcosm of ‘relationship’ into the macrocosm of the Universe.







Inner Voice, Regina 2/26/17






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