A rainbow is an amalgamation of light, a perfect harmonic symbol of supernatural beauty, promise and enlightenment. After facing a personal storm, I’m inspired to share a story with you, a ‘rainbow of promise and enlightenment,’ after facing conflict, which is never easy, at least for me.
By facing the conflict and riding the storm till the ‘rainbow’ appeared, I received two invaluable gifts, one of affirmation: all actions or reactions are either love or a call for love, believe this, and know this! The other was a true realization of the magic within love, inspiring us to face our fears, to face our conflicts; they are not what we think they are; yet they are always opportunities to know ourselves, and to become the Love.
A few days ago I was informed that a client of mine had been rushed to the emergency room. I called to check on her, and found her in stable condition. She had a visitor, but asked if I could come for a visit later that evening.
Around 6 I called to ask if ‘now’ was a good time for a visit, and asked if I could bring her dinner. She was thrilled; however, she let me know that she was waiting for approval to receive her ‘Chemo’ therapy, and that she could not eat until an hour after she had taken her ‘therapy.’
I arrived around 7pm. Her therapy still had not been approved. She informed me that shortly after she had arrived at 11am, she had made the staff aware of the medications she was taking; not only to advise the staff, but also in hopes that she would receive her meds in a timely manner, importantly, her chemo. Again at 5:30, after being assigned a room, she informed the ‘new’ staff of her medications and circumstance. She had not eaten all day.
Shortly before I had arrived, there was a staff change. The new ‘Tech’ had walked in to check on Her. Just as I entered the room, She was telling her medication story again. The Tech leaves the room and returns with in a few minutes to let Her know that it was not ‘time’ for her heart medication, not addressing Her most pressing question, the one about her chemo. She became anxious, and felt unheard and misunderstood.
Witnessing this, I decided to step out of the room and speak with someone at the ‘front desk.’ When I approached the desk, I heard a female voice behind the partition, speaking in an elevated, agitated tone, with unsettling, unkind remarks. As I tuned-in, this Nurse was speaking about my client, speaking about Her ‘case’ to the new Tech. She was clearly upset, and her voice and choice of words had paralyzed me. The Receptionist at the desk tried to gain my attention, but I would not redirect my focus. The last words I heard were, “She’s crazy as sh**!” ‘Oh my, even if she is crazy as sh**,’ this is a place of healing, and her ‘message, speech & tone’ were not healing.
Russell Brand is quoted as saying; “How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a species.” It is also how we define our self.
I knew I was going to do something. I just did not know what I was going to do. I asked for a piece of paper and a pen, and I began penning a few notes, taking down the Nurse’s name, the names of the attendants at the desks, and as much information as I had witnessed and could retain. The same beautiful lady, Receptionist, who had tried to get my attention earlier, directed me to the Head Nurse whom was approaching the desk, I asked if I could speak with him privately. He lead me to a private room and I disclosed what I had witnessed, and gave him as much information about my Client as I was aware. He let me know that he had heard remarks like these before about the Nurse, and informed me that He would be caring for my Client for the rest of the evening. He also would give me the floor Supervisor’s name and contact information if I’d like, and he would personally deliver the letter, and take it ‘higher’ if I was compelled to make that request.
I went back to the room, still unsettled at a Soul level; however, I did not let Her know what I had experienced nor witnessed. Shortly thereafter the Head Nurse had entered and was very thorough about obtaining information from Her. Within about 30 minutes the meds were approved. Curious. This was well after 8pm, and it be after 9 before she could eat. She was advised that she could skip the chemo, eat and rest, and she would be on a sound schedule tomorrow.
As She began to eat, I great Inpulse arose within my Heart to speak directly with the Nurse before considering writing a letter to her Superiors. Great compassion arose within me for the Nurse, all nurses really. Nurses have one of the most difficult jobs on earth. And, I know I am not without fault. I have been under certain stresses that were the catalyst for me to lose by balance, my kindness, my charity and my way. Who really could throw a stone? If I were in her shoes, what would I do? What was the resolve I seek? If Love is what I seek, and Love is the true Healer of all things, and Love is at the core of my being, what should I do? Love of course. Inspired to speak with her, still not knowing what I was going to say, however, I trusted Love would guide me.
I wandered to the front desk again and ask to speak to the Nurse. I was advised that she was finishing a report and would be with me in a few minutes. I returned to the room to wait for her. In no time, she was at the door and requested to speak with me. I had not gotten fully out of the door before she began apologizing profusely. As I looked onto her, she was flush and nervous, young and sincerely sorry. She began to speak of her day, and I asked if we could speak privately.
In a private room, she began again, ‘not to make an excuse,’ but to disclose her day. With compassion I listened. I understood that most days for a nurse are difficult, much is asked and much is expected. For one person to care for only one person is difficult, but to care for several is beyond comprehension. Although nurses are generally the most selfless, and giving persons on earth, true healers whom have chosen a very important work path, they do grueling work, often devalued, over-worked and underpaid.
After a moment, I interjected, and asked if I could talk about my client & Friend. I shared with the Nurse that She had been battling cancer for seven years, and that She’d battled this mostly alone, and she was just rushed to the emergency room that morning. (At 5o something), She had no immediate family, no parents or siblings, spouse or children, no family to speak of and only a few friends. Mostly, she was alone in the world. And even if she were ‘crazy as sh**, we, The Nurse and I, probably did not have any stresses in our life that compared to that. Acknowledging, we were in a place of healing, and her statements and actions were not that.
I told her of the Native proverb about the two wolves that live within us, the wolf of Fear and the wolf of Love, and under stress the one we feed the most is the one that will come out. It’s easy to love when it’s easy, but who are we under stress?
She was truly sorry. Though going to her supervisor with the complaint, I could have avoided the conflict of facing The Nuse, but I was strongly inspired to speak with her personally. And though I had spoken with the Head Nurse, I did not intend to go any further, I would not be addressing her supervisors, nor did I intend to tell my Friend.
As I rose to leave, she fell into my arms tearful, crying and joyful. She told me she intended to feed the wolf of Love. I became overjoyed, and tearful as well. The storm had passed and the most beautiful Rainbow filled my heart. We walked back to the room in a supernatural splendor; the rainbow of colors & light filled the hallway, and our hearts.
The next day, my Friend shared with me that her and the Nurse were best friends, and that the Nurse liked me very much. I smiled. She has no idea why the Nurse liked me so very much. Really what the Nurse liked about me was the Love that inspired the whole resolve! I am humbled to my knees, and grateful for the Impulse in my Heart. It never ceases to amaze me the power of Love if we’ll but listen to It’s harmonious Voice.
Regina 1/20/15
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